Have you ever been in a learning process that compares to being on a bouncy castle for the first time? My journey of diving deeper into systems constellations, together with my beautiful cohort at collective transitions, is inviting me into the deeper realms of learning and I am very much enjoying the ride!
Throughout course, we take plenty of time to be in practice together and try out different kinds of constellations as we go. It feels very playful and warm to me, and unexpectedly open. I am sitting in awe reflecting on earlier experiences of how some practitioners hold constellations with such tight frames and little participation or intuitive openness. This dissonance makes me sit with shaky knees and a loudly beating heart as I enter the circle of faciitators.
It's the kind of shaky knees you get when doing something for the very first time, the kind of anticipatory nervousness and instability I remember from stepping on a bouncy castle for the first time. Navigating balance anew, getting in tune with a new set of laws, feeling into my place, observing. Grooving into new rythms.
It is an uncomfortable feeling, which still clearly whispers 'You're at the right place. Your learning is about to drop miles deeper than ever before. You're allowed to lean into your senses & intuitive impulses. This will be fun'. An old friend I haven't been meeting for a while now.
I cannot wait to lean in further, while patiently giving my body a chance to (co-)regulate and sense into the new roles and experiences, engraving new, deeper, absolutely beautiful patterns full of trust, care, curiosity, love, intuition. And I see how looking at the role of the facilitator from all other perspectives is a very powerful way to approach and feel my way into hosting & holding. Being a case giver myself, my sense of compassion and care expanded widely, my understanding of 'we all see the world differently even though we use similar words to describe it' and ' We may use very different words to describe similar phenomena' grew body.
It makes me also look differently at cases where I joined in as a witness or representative. How am I holding myself and my historical perspectives as I feel into the element I represent? Can I lovingly acknowledge my own stories and hold them on a different layer than the information that is coming through while being in the constellation? Can I let it become helpful information in it's own term, trusting that when expressed appropriately it can help open and unveil important dynamics? Can I tune it down, just as I can tune down my overall somatic experience? A second volume button? There is so much more to learn.
Can you see me jump, fly?
Bouncy Castle Motions
Weak knees waving
to toddler-like motions
that render the edges
between standing and falling
Embracing the embarkation
of the wobbly surface
for the very first time
Jump, they say, jump
Even though you're scared
to the bone, through the fascia
You'll be alright, safely held,
let those boundaries melt open
With time & rhythm catching
motion starts turning fear to play
Bouncing along with the laws of nature
exploring a joining of forces
Learning to fly high above
former restrictions
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